Forward Ever.....Backward Never.....

The title up there seems so easy...four simple little words but yet I feel as though I have spent the better part of this past year looking backwards. At least I'm not left with the feeling that it was time wasted...I did learn a lot, about myself and other people. Moving into a new decade, some steps I take will seem so timid and tender, only because I know that I have to be careful with my emotions so that I don't end up taking an unwanted roller coaster ride. Other steps I take will be spirited, certain and intentional because I will know that I can handle the outcome.

I feel like I spent a ton of time living in "the early days"...reminiscing about the kids being babies and the funny things they did, reflecting on the early years of marriage and sitting so proud of ourselves at how far we've come, recalling my own life and crying a ton over all the peaks and valleys that I have personally experienced. I feel like I have dreamed a thousand dreams about how simple my life would be if it weren't for the things still waiting to be resolved...no worries here though...God's timing is perfect timing and I can be patient.

I face the prospect that my baby boy will leave home this year and even as I type this, the lump in my throat is blocking my ability to breath. Jason and I talk a lot about finishing things off together when the kids are gone....but these days it seems as though the years passed in a blink and Colby has always seemed fearless in his anticipation of making his own way in the world so I have known for a long time that this child would not be the one who would sponge off of his parents until he was 26. I hope he stays for a little while longer but if he needs to go...then I'll just let him go.

My husband saw lots of changes career wise as he began to move his job in too many different directions to keep track of. Truthfully though I've never seen him so excited about the future as he has been this past year and he learned a ton of things that he really needed to learn this year....mostly about other people.

I brought the kids home to be home schooled once again after so much anticipation at the thought of having my own life again but it really was a decision that held no other options and they are doing great this year.

We experienced loss this year twice more than we anticipated although it did help us linger in the blessing of coming back to what is important.

I made new friends, brought old friends in closer to me and let some relationships go. The list of personal growth endeavors that I have taken on would far exceed a worthy read and also far exceed my comfort zone to share them right now but I feel like I am becoming more and more like who I think I am inside though there is still so much work to be done.

I can't say that I will be sad to see this past year go. In fact I'm actually elated to blow a kiss to 2009 and send it packing....

The year ahead holds so many unknowns for all of us. Some of us are moving to the other side of the world and we are so proud of the work they are doing. Some of us will welcome new additions to their families and I will be so happy for them(uhmmm as I say thank God it ain't me) I'm excited to see where this year leads, blessed to know that I have him standing beside me, and proud to know that I'm doing okay...that we're doing okay....life isn't perfect, but seriously, if you have perfection then there isn't anything to strive for and what fun is that.

Happy New Year all!! Be safe and be blessed!

The Joy, Peace and Faith in my life..........

I have always said that my children each represented something different to my life and that each of them filled in the missing gap in a certain area of my life.



See this face? He is the Joy in my life. Having him made me feel like my life's purpose had been fulfilled. Any and all hindrances I had with God were erased in that single moment when he was born. He has always been a pretty easy going kid and a mama's boy. He never asked for a ton growing up and always made me feel like I was doing a really good job at this whole mothering thing. He makes me laugh every single day. He has a natural sense of humor and the next comedic monologue always seems to be on the tip of his tongue. He lights up my life. He's good and kind and really wants to live his life in a way that makes other people's lives better...I'm really blessed that I'm his mom....when I'm feeling blue he can turn it all around just with his quick wit and upbeat energy.



Next came my Logi....the Peace in my life. I knew Logan was a boy all along....and I knew that he was going to be a gentle soul. My pregnancy was a walk in the park compared to Colby and that calmness seemed to carry on after he was born. He was just easy...never demanding...just content. He is very smart and very logical in his thoughts and actions which often gets him into trouble but at the end of the day he is the one who can sit with me and bring me to a calm place. Though he doesn't easily show his emotions he is much more of an emotional person than the other two. His feelings get easily hurt at raised voices and he doesn't do well at confrontation....him and I are just the same in those areas. He has a sense of humor that is truly only for really smart people because they are jokes that require thought to get the punchline. Logan is the one though at the end of the day, if my world has been too overwhelming, feels most like a massage for my soul.



Rounding out the group came my girl Mara....the faith in my life. This child would be an answered prayer for me on so many levels. Because she was a girl...she was the one who marked the milestones in my own life. Marking those moments in time came with a lot of pain along the way because my life became so clear to me when I was seeing it through her eyes. She is the one that I want to hold close to me and keep with me forever and protect and save from anything bad happening to her. But she is also the one that brought faith to me that things can come full circle. In so many ways watching her grow up and change has been like therapy for me....to work on my own weaknesses and heal pains that I have carried far too long...I guess I do live a little bit through her....she makes me smile in the knowing that I am doing right by her...she will not walk my same road....not to say that she won't be laying on a Shrinks couch one day griping about how I wrecked her life or scarred her....who knows...I'll pay that bill when it comes I guess.

Watching my kids and seeing them interact with each other and with us, I'm amazed....they really are great kids...sure they duke it out pretty good sometimes but at the end of the day they still love each other. For me, being their mom has encouraged me to see my own value and purpose. I know that I'm valuable all my own but they show me every day that I'm doing okay and who doesn't need a little bit of that kind of encouragement.

Thank God for the Joy that makes my heart smile....the Peace that brings serenity to my soul....and the Faith that renews my spirit with the hope that all things can eventually heal.

Hope you are all super blessed moving into December.

Best part of Bananas, Strawberries and Cream Puffs

Ya know what the best part of Bananas, Mini marshmallows,Strawberries,Apples and Cream Puffs is?? Mmmmmmm the chocolate that you can dip them in! I do, I do, I do love chocolate. But when you can find fun ways to eat chocolate it just makes it that much better! I made the kids a quick supper tonight after a day of running around and I was looking in my pantry trying to think of something fun for dessert....then I found the perfect thing.



I grabbed fruit from the fridge, creampuffs from the freezer, mini marshmallows from the pantry and assembled them on a platter...then came....ahhhh....perfection....



Last year I picked up this Little Dipper from Walmart for 7 or 8 dollars and it is perfect for melting dipping chocolate.....so I plugged it in and threw in the chocolate...and waited. It takes next to no time and I called the kids down for their impromptu fondue....Uhhmmm notice what I just did back there <-----------made a cutsy little rhyme. They were thrilled. Kids love it when we do things that make it seem like it's a special occasion even when it isn't or when we make them feel super important at the end of a really busy day. Plus I know it makes them waaaaay love me because they think I worked so hard at it even though I didn't.



I always think that it's stuff like this that they will do someday with their own kids...those little moments that made the day seem a little bigger. Hopefully the boys don't end up with a crappy wife or they will be really disappointed when they realize that I actually was Betty Crocker.

P.S. A certain little girl having a sleep over was very quick to announce that she will definitely be having a fondue at her next birthday...Mara looked at her in shock and disbelief when she said that she had never had one before...I turned my head and laughed...it's sad...I know....too bad we can't all be a Betty.

Anyways Happy Friday all and make sure you do one little something this weekend that makes your kids feel Xtra special!

Quicky Disclaimer: Chocolate should be a sweet addition to fruit on occasion but one should still frequently eat fruits without any accompanying items such as chocolate....blah blah blah!

Best Parts of Today....

We woke up this morning to the snow falling and accumulating quite nicely on the back deck...I groaned as I walked to the coffee pot....pffft...too soon for this. But then Logan came up from his room and Mara came down and they both decided collectively that the best lessons for homeschooling today could be learned on the toboggan hill. Logan went into some rambling about getting the best aerodynamics on the hill by doing such and such...good Lord...the kid is waaaaay smarter than me. I smiled a little on the inside as they got bundled from head to toe to head outside. In their eyes they were thrilled that between yesterday and today enough snow had collected to create the perfect outdoor experience...and in that two minutes of watching them run around feverishly gathering their gear...I wished that same attitude in myself. It's just snow....I'm certain in the coming months I'll whine about it more often than not but for this day, I'll be excited for them. I'll make turkey soup and biscuits for lunch from the leftover Thanksgiving dinner. After we'll have hot chocolate and pumpkin pie and maybe play a board game. Tonight I'll look back on the day and realize that we didn't learn with books today but I'll be okay with that because I will know that someday years from now after the time has passed much too quickly....I know they will remember days like today.

Going back to homeschooling after them being in public for just a month and a half wasn't an easy choice. We debated and talked into the night about it. Ultimately as more days passed the choice became easier and easier. My daughter is fragile in so many ways and I watched her slowly breaking and couldn't do it anymore. So we brought them back home....back to me...not because I wanted to give them the easy way out but because I wanted to know that I was and am doing all I can to do right by them and their school just wasn't the right fit. I have no idea if we'll do it this year and then move on to private or if I'll do it until the end. For right now that doesn't matter. Dolly's stomach aches and chronic diarrhea have subsided. The anxiety at bedtime is getting better and the sores on her mouth have cleared for now...I made the right choice...and I am blessed that I get to make that choice. My hubby supports me and encourages me and when I was struggling and didn't know what we should do it was he who said..."You're the one who always says that the days disappear quicker and quicker and before we know they will have their own lives, so soak it all in now while you can."

That's what we're going to do, soak it in.....we'll do book stuff and writing and math and all the 'school' stuff....but we'll also play board games and watch movies in the middle of the day and make chocolate mug cakes and go sledding and walk to high street for coffee in the afternoon, and lay on the couch reading on blustery winter days....we'll do 'life' stuff.

I'm sure come April I'll be dreaming of summer and the end of another school year but for now it's easy to fluff it all up in my mind....I guess because I know that all too soon....I'm gonna miss this.

Happy Wednesday all!

Disclaimer: Although it may appear as though Logan was about to use his toboggan as a weapon...that was not the case...they love each other....they really do!

Don't wait to say it....

A boy that Colby had Drama with at school committed suicide over the weekend. As I read the things that his mother wrote on their message board I sobbed. I can't imagine that kind of pain....losing your child.....I can imagine the desperate feeling of wanting to rewind time would seem to be more than I could handle.

Colby and I talked a lot that afternoon about life and coping with life. I told him that I would always want him to know that there is nothing that he could do or say....ever....that would diminish how much I love him. I wanted him to know that I would die for him, that my love stretched that far. I wanted him to know that everyone makes mistakes and suffers disappointments but you can get through anything if you have faith that you can. I made sure he knew that we all have dark days where it seems that we are being sucked into a black pit of sadness or despair but eventually the clouds part, the darkness lifts, and the warmth of the sun reminds you that it's a new day.

I tell my kids and my husband I love them....a lot....I say it anywhere, anytime, everyday. I never want to assume that I'll get another chance.

Please take the time to talk to your kids about life and where they are at and how they feel about stuff....make sure they know that you will help them through anything and that you will never ever take your love away from them as punishment. Hug them a little tighter so they feel it a little longer. Tell them that you are and will always be proud of them for the big things they do but also for the little things.

Don't let the little moments just pass you by....

We sat there for a while and sometimes the air was filled with words but for a little bit there was silence. I could tell he wanted to move on to other conversations...the moment was getting too emotional for him so I let him go hang out with his friends. He walked out the door to catch the bus and I watched him until I couldn't see him anymore...the tears had started streaming down the second I knew that he couldn't see me....Dear God it is so hard having a piece of your heart walking around out there...

To Jesse's family I want to say....our thoughts are with you and your family deal with your loss. The words of so many should show you that you raised a wonderful young man who touched so many people.

Dear God, please keep me breathing,
Through this my deepest sorrow,
For I know that he was not mine to keep,
But only ours to borrow.

The days seemed much too short,
But the memories overflow,
Could you tell him that we miss him,
Dear God, we love him so.

We know we can’t sit in yesterday,
There are things you can’t undo,
And walking in this darkness,
We know our faith will see us through.

Soon I’ll draw on moments,
That I wished would never pass,
And I’ll sit there with him in my mind,
Soak in all the goodness that he had.

I’ll wrap my arms around all the things,
That made me want to be like him,
Those things will light my way on days,
When my world seems a little dim.

By your grace I know I’ll smile again,
Your devotion will lift me from my sorrow,
And for all my days I’ll live so grateful,
That you sent him for us to borrow.





Copyright 2009 Lanie Fillion

This is What Love Looks Like......

My grandparents are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary....yet when you watch them sometimes, it's like they are seeing each other with fresh eyes....that spark is still there even after all these years.....and I love watching their interaction with each other....that little way that they can have a whole conversation while saying nothing at all. That skill that some married people have where the look on your face can say "I'm so in love with you," or "Get me outta here," or "You're in big trouble when we get home mister." I for one do possess that skill but it definitely took practice.

I hope that my grandparents always know that the lessons that their children and grandchildren have taken from them along the way are more valuable than anything. I have seen them nurse some pretty deep wounds and still find their way to the other side. I have been able to glean from them the knowledge that life isn't always easy, God's design for us indicates that there are a few tough roads ahead but if you can walk those roads with grace and courage and devotion then wherever the end leads you, you'll be better than you were. I have seen the worst and the best in people but I think that grandma and grandpa choose to see the best. Someday when I'm a for real grown up, I hope that I can make that same choice.

They inspire all of us to be more and do more in our own marriages....to shine ourselves in the best possible light for our spouses and to always keep moving forward. They have created big shoes for all us to fill and I know that all of us are so proud of them and the fact that they are the head of our family.

Happy Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa. We love you.



Just for a moment I watch their eyes, as they are watching each other,

On the notebook of their hearts we know, there has never been another.

How many times she has been his music, when he couldn’t hear the beat.

Never has his hand been unsteady, when her body felt defeat.

Needing her to be his strength, when the road seemed too hard to bare,

Yet faithfully he is her wind, when her sails seem to tear.

And I smile as I watch them, their love so pure and strong,

Now twenty one thousand six hundred days doesn’t seem quite so long.

Does love like this just fall upon us, or do we build and watch it grow?

Choose to love the one you’re with, for you’ll reap all that you sow.

Over the years their faith in God and each other never seemed to waiver,

Once in a lifetime, a love like this, a promise for us to savor.

Kindred spirits, a shining example of what we all hope to grow to be,

I pray for that same kind of love to always live in me.

Everyday they remind us to give your very best to each other,
And by God’s grace and devoted love, there will never be another.


Copyright Lanie Fillion

AKA The Eldest and Favorite but as if that even needed to be said out loud....we all know the truth.

Ya know what is not my favorite??

That line up there starting this post was supposed to say Ya Know what I hate but I tell the kids that they aren't allowed to say hate so I have to set a good example.

I need to vent....

Yesterday I was almost in a wreck...okay before I start I should just do a quicky disclaimer..

Disclaimer: This post is purely based on my own opinion and it should be strongly noted that I love my grandparents and other grandparents dearly. Don't be offended.

Okay so people over like 70ish shouldn't be allowed to have a license. Ask me why...so yet again I saw my life flash before my eyes due to an elderly person behind the wheel. If I was the traffic safety...uhmmm....diplomat or whatever that person is called...these are three rules I would add to the list of road rules.

1. If you are over the age of 70 and can't push the gas hard enough to reach a required miles per hour....hand over your license.

2. If you have to look through the steering wheel to see out the front window as opposed to looking over it....hand over your license.

3. If your blind spot encompasses the entire area around your vehicle....hand over your license.

Number 2 in crucial in my mind. On two separate occasions I have been driving behind a vehicle and as I pulled up along side glanced over and then did a double take to see this little teeny tiny pocket size senior citizen behind the wheel with her hands precisely at 10 and 2 as she peered through the steering wheel to see out the windshield...seriously?? I did wonder if her children know she still drives....and how could they possibly rest easy with that knowledge. I know this sounds harsh but if you get to the age where you can't remember how to get back to the house you've lived in since the dawn of time, how can you possibly remember and be able to react quickly to traffic safety issues.

On an up note the little woman behind the vehicle nodded and smiled as she almost pushed me into the cement barrier between the lanes....oh and she waved....let's not do that though....hands on 10 and 2 at all times please.

K so done now....I feel so much better now....mmmm...one more thing....must people take the saying pedestrians have the right of way so literal?? If you feel the heat off my bumper because you opted to head out into oncoming traffic without regard for how close I was to you is that really my fault?? I think not....pffft.

Happy Wednesday all....which BTW is my least favorite day of the week in case you care.

I'm off to do something with the ghetto yard so that the neighbors don't think we are bringing down house values in our area.

Just saying.......

Disclaimer: This post in no way puts me on one side of the fence or the other pertaining to Michael Jackson, it purely represents my opinion based on observation of human nature and I was annoyed and thus decided to blog....

Case in point as to why I rarely watch the news. Yesterday was a very sad day for two families who are now both grieving the loss of someone they dearly loved. Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett both passed away on June 25, 2009.

As I watched the news and flipped from station to station the same things were stated over and over by so many people....mostly to do with MJ as they seemed to deem that story way more news worthy. Person after person announcing what a great man he was, how caring he was and how giving he was....and on and on and on. Then it struck me and I felt a little lump in my throat for his family when someone said something along the lines of..."all these people coming forward to sing his praises now but where were they yesterday?" How sad....

I've listened over the years to countless T.V. personalities use all kinds of names to describe him but there is one that I hated the most. On Court TV a certain host whose name shall remain anonymous but it rhymes with fancy face repeatedly referred to him as 'Wacko Jacko' during his trial....over and over and over again....and I thought....okay you've made your point now let it die....how cruel....and about someone you don't even know personally.

I know that everyone has their opinions about him....certainly he has given the impression at times that he is a little loo loo.....but come on....sitting in judgement of someone you have never met and gauging your opinion based only on observation is pretty harsh. Speculation does not prove guilt and people who buy or create 50 million dollar amusement parks aren't necessarily crazy, they're just different.

It's amazing to me how so many people eat everything up in the tabloids like it's always complete truth but never stop to think that there is a real person on the other side of that equation and more than that...there is a family that has to suffer right along with that person while other people use the latest gossip as filler at the dinner table.

All this to say, I wouldn't necessarily say that I was a huge fan of his, but I certainly had no valid opinion about the comings and goings in his life....absolutely he used poor judgement in many areas of his life...but don't we all at times?

I do wonder if so many people that raved on and on about him yesterday were just too weak to stand beside him when he was alive for fear of the judgment that they would have cast upon them by making that choice. What's sadder still is that if all of these people who claim to have loved him so much and who are deeply saddened by the loss had been there when he was alive...perhaps he wouldn't have felt like the lonliest person on earth. Draw your line in the sand and then stand behind it....doing it after someone dies just makes you look really shallow, selfish and stupid.

K I'm done venting.

RIP Farrah and MJ

PS....this rant in no way points fingers at any of those who showed their support in his life. This is my little disclaimer so that if someone stumbles upon this read by googling then you will kindly refrain from suing me for defamation even though I only said one name in a round about way....further more I'm still in protest of that certain Court TV host....just saying.....

Peace.

Say What You Will.....

The other night at the end of a rather emotional day for me, my husband sent me an email....he always seems to know exactly what I need to hear even when I say nothing at all. I read the message and cried and then read it over and over again over the past few days. We have come to this amazing place in our relationship...where it's just okay to be who we are say what we feel. I wish that it hadn't taken so long to get to this place and if I could make it happen so much quicker for my own kids I most certainly would.

Anyways I decided to write a 'What I think' list....mostly for my own weekly dose of self therapy.

What I Think

1. Kindness Matters
2. Life doesn't have a 'Do Over' attachment.
3. Do one thing different today, that makes you better than you were yesterday.
4. Make sure that the people you love...know it.
5. Make sure your kids don't think you love your dog more than them.8)
6. It's okay to tell each of your kids that they are your favorite but not to tell the others.
7. I do think Peace is possible.
8. It's okay that not everyone likes you.
9. It's okay that everyone doesn't need you as much as you want them to.
10.It's okay to say no...and mean it.
11. It's not just about what you do in your life, it's also about who you are in your life.
12. Even if the only things you can bring to a relationship are honesty and showing them your true self....there is one person out there who will decide you are worth it.


I have dialogue with myself on almost a daily basis, little reminders to myself that I'm a grown up, it's my life, my choices, this is me. Sometimes there is definitely fear in that attitude but that passes. I like the feeling that comes in knowing that I'm the boss of me.

Do what you say,say what you mean, mean what you say. This is the mantra that I personally need to try and live by.......I'm still a work in progress.

Please click on the link for a little extra message...and then pass it on. If clicking doesn't work you may need to copy and paste it...but it's worth it.

Happy Tuesday All!

http://swyw.inmusic.ca/watch/kpEJevv3rxnlqLkf6-fvZ5I9vBiUSuOh9DoLZtbbNbk

Best Parts of Our Lives....

You know how you have those moments when you are laying on the couch or in your bed and your spouse is in the middle of their rant about something and all of the sudden a memory comes into your mind and you burst into laughter? Before you know it you are replaying it over and over again and laughing each time...and sometimes your spouse looks at you like you must be having a conversation in your head with your split personality....okay so anyways...I had one of those moments a few days ago. It's a conversation I've told so many people even though it's so incredibly embarrassing.

The conversation was between Logan and I. Now anyone who knows Logan would also know that he can be pretty serious sometimes and he is also very monotone when he speaks...I truly had no idea the conversation would go like this and wanted the earth to promptly crack open and swallow me whole...I was horrified.

Eight months ago we moved here and the kids weren't incredibly thrilled initially until one fine day when Logan came to me with this....

Logan: "Well....I can sure say that there is one reason why I am so glad we moved to this house."
Mom: "Why is that son?"
Logan: "My bedroom is down the hall from yours and dads..."
Mom: "And?"
Logan: "And in the last house it was underneath yours....and there are just some things that you can't unhear!"

My face felt like it was going to explode....right before I burst into laughter and had tears streaming down my face. Oh my gosh I love that kid!

I started thinking about all those little moments that families have...their inside jokes and secret handshakes and the little things that make them feel connected to each other in ways that are theirs alone. I always try to remind myself that time passes so quickly....don't let the novelty of raising kids ever wear off.

Anyways these snapshots represent just a small portion of all the little things that my family does or says that make me laugh at the most random times in random places.

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. ~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family

Best Part of Pizza......

Disclaimer: Though I could have used people's names in reference to my own pizza, that just wouldn't be very nice though I hope you all know where you fit on my slice of pizza. Please don't assume that you know where you fit and therefore get down right ticked off at me because you assume that I'm saying you're anchovies or that you're cheese...if you ask I'll be glad to tell you. This blog was written with completely good intentions and a little sarcasm and humor thrown in and therefore any backlash or outbursts from anyone who would be on my list of pizza ingredients will unfortunately result in you no longer making onto my pizza... If you can't see the humor in silly little analogies....please opt out of this read.




Okay so over the weekend I was thinking about my family and the quirks and issues that go along with being part of a largish family and thought I would blog about the wisdom filled, extremely profound analogy I came to with regards to families.

Ahem....

I really think that families are like a supreme pizza....stay with me here and follow along. So you've got the crust which is the base for the whole entire pizza. Those toppings and the cheese can't even attempt to classify themselves as pizza if it weren't for the crust. The crust is the beginning of this amazing creation....got me so far?

Okay so then comes everything else on the pizza. The sauce is definitely a significant companion to the crust and these two ingredients strongly assist each other to make this pizza even remotely edible. I myself quite like the pizza sauce...and I like that I can pick and choose...it's all pizza sauce but if you like it spicy or regular or if you like a white sauce like they put on some chicken pizzas then you get to decide. The reality is that there has to be a sauce of some sort...otherwise none of the toppings have anything to stick to and the sauce, in a lot of ways, kind of enhances the way the other toppings taste together. Okay so moving on to the toppings. They always put the good stuff on the bottom...you have to dig your way through the things that aren't your favorite and the things that are just down right nasty to get to the good stuff. Now along your journey with this piece of pizza you encounter tons of different toppings. Pepperoni and mushrooms.....mmmmm.....my favorite....I'd eat it on every pizza if I could even though I know full well that some of my other family members think pepperoni is just okay. Then there's peppers and pineapple....I like them just fine, they don't infringe on my taste buds and I definitely enjoy the pizza with those toppings on it. Okay so then there's onions and feta cheese....uhmmm now I don't hate these toppings but could certainly go extended periods of time without eating pizza with these things on it. In most cases after I eat these toppings I'm going to either wish I had opted out or have really bad indigestion....still following the analogy? Rounding out the toppings are cooked tomatoes, anchovies, and anything else funky that I'm not thinking of. These toppings are the ones, in my opinion, that most of the time wreck the pizza. I'm just saying....they often ruin the other toppings or at least impact the taste of the other toppings. I personally would never order a pizza with these toppings on it, but in certain situations would eat the pizza if I had to. I will also add that there are lots of people who love anchovies and that is their choice. So now here is where the wisdom comes in...though reading that back to myself...uhmmm that was pretty profound...

Do you know what the best part about pizza is? You can make it anyway you want to and you can eat as much or as little as you want....one slice or the whole pie! Ninety percent of the time my pizza would be pepperoni and mushrooms but occasionally I like to go crazy and throw on some peppers and pineapple. Some people like just cheese...over and over and over again....and you'll like that for awhile but there will come a time when you feel like you're missing out on something and really should take a second glance at some other toppings, not even necessarily all of the toppings but some of the other toppings could really enhance your pizza eating experience. If you are one of the ones out there who is insisting...no thanks....I'll stick to just cheese, it's safer that way and I know I like it...well I can only say from personal pizza eating endeavors that I always thought that pineapple on pizza was just a no no but after tasting it I discovered that with the right combination of other toppings it gives the pizza a nice little zing. See that's the great thing about pizza....everyone gets to make it their way....and there will be some who glance at your pizza and then copy yours, others who will think your pizza could definitely use something extra and even some who will think that your pizza is just plain gross....but who cares it's your pizza, your very own little slice of perfection.

While I sure do like that I can pick and choose I do also try to keep one certain perspective about pizza. The toppings really aren't anything without the sauce and crust in some variety. Thin crust, thick, light on the sauce, or slathered on...those really are the essence of the pizza and even if you truly don't care for the sauce or the crust, you eat them because you like pizza as a whole and the bottom line is that without some kind of combination involving the crust and sauce....your just toppings....not pizza.....and one further note....if you are one of the ones that insists you'll stick to just the cheese....I really hope you explore all the other fabulous toppings out there, you might be surprised to find how well the other toppings can relate.....

If you far and away prefer cheese pizza then you also possibly fall into the category of being the cheese on other people's pizza ....a lot of people love you on their pizza but some people are just lactose intolerant and some people choose to becomes vegans because the cheese just leaves them with a lot of upset stomachs. I for one choose to have cheese on my pizza, I love that it has its own personality and comes in different varieties....but there are definitely a lot of days when I go light on the cheese.

I really don't want the message to get lost in this little word vomit commentary. At the end of the day your family just is what it is, good, bad and everything in between. There is no changing what is. I will freely admit that for me and for my life...I take what I like and leave the rest because that is what is in my best interest. But I also know that had I allowed certain relationships to fall by the wayside based on assumptions that I thought people had of me or I of them.....parts of my life would feel like it was missing a little something.

I guess ultimately I'd rather eat a piece of pizza with a whole lot of stuff I didn't care for on it just to get to the good stuff like pepperoni and mushrooms....than to never eat pizza again.

PS....I'm realizing now, after reading through it, how incredibly deep this blurb is and therefore I understand if not everyone gets it....I still luv you.