Wednesday, July 24, 2013

My Little Book

Okay so the other day I was feeding my addiction on Pinterest and I came across this lil read. My Little Book of Whether or Not He's Worth It.

You can find it here:

Go read it. She has some relevant criteria in there....I mean all of it is relevant to her.... It is likely that her and I would be friends just based on the fact that people have told both of us that we are on a fairytale mission for a man that doesn't exist......pppfffffftttt! I still completely disagree. Hoooooooowever, while I think her book is full of great must haves...she does have much more of a flowery perception of men than I....yay for her that she hasn't encountered a ton of duds to make her jaded :) The reality is....he isn't going to think about us every second of the day and spew sunshine and rainbows all the time when he talks about us to his friends. Sometimes he's going to be a tool and try and be all manly and shit and we're gonna look at him with a look that he and I both know says "I am sooooooo kickin yer ass when we get home."
The more I read, the more I found myself writing my own list in my mind...there were indeed many things from her book that were also important to me...but there are far far bigger things that outrank a lot of her book for me. This is based on a looooong term relationship and a dozen or so very short lapses in judgement. For me this list is made up of stuff that matters, stuff that really matters and stuff that could result in injury to one of us, and by injury to one of us, I mean him, if you can't apply the criteria to your life. I'm not going to get as fancy as her but this is my list.

My book :)

Ooooooo fancy hey? I know....hate my artistic skills if you want to...:P book...

1. Be Happy. Let's face it, life just sucks sometimes. It's a hard road for everyone, just choose a good attitude :)
2. Being domestic makes you doesn't emasculate you! If you do toilets, laundry and dishes...I basically automatically love you.
3. Kindness matters. Prairie dogs and other creatures on the road(except may kill mice by any means necessary)are not targets...please be a lover of most creatures...including people.
4. Make me laugh almost every day <-----this one right have someone like this is perfection.
5. Bring me tea or coffee in bed sometimes, write me a cheesy love note, foreplay is more than just turning off the light...these kind of sweet mushy gestures...YOU will reap the reward of that!
6. Don't look at me like I'm batshit crazy if I'm crying and tell you I don't know why...I'm a girl...girls do that crap...just love on me and roll with it.
7. Don't tell me the team I cheer for bites just because they aren't your team. That's my job...I'm allowed to mock your team cuz I'm the girl :P
8. Talk to me....Okay I know...heavy requirement here...we talk...A LOT...I know this and I'm sorry, cept not really cuz sorry means you'll change and I won't but yeah...sorry that you have to endure it.F.O.R.E.V.E.R. I want to hear what you have to say...if I love you then I want to know everything there is to know about talk to me :)
9. Kiss me...a anytime you want to. Don't be so passive about us. Mediocre existence between penguins is unacceptable.
10. Since you're a guy, you'll think it's funny to fart on me...while I accept the whole trapping me under the covers with plant your cheeks right on my leg and let one rip...yeah that is not okay...and the bed will likely feel a lil chilly for a couple nights....not to mention that this one will make the 'Big Book of Grievances" to be thrown at you in an arguement 8 months from just don't do it.
11. Encourage me to go for all areas of life...within reason of course...duh.
12. Kiss me on the forehead. This is something endearing for us girls. Moments like this show us the gentle and sweet side of our penguin and while we totally dig you being all tough and masculine...sometimes we need to see this side of you.
13. Like my family...or fake it like you do. These are my people...they aren't going anywhere...most of the interactions are so just act like you love them even if you don't.
14. NEVER EVER say you don't like my best friends....also never say you think about sexing my best friends. Both of these fall into the injury clause posted above.
15. When I'm doing a good job making you happy...could you tell me that sometimes? don't have to blow sweetness and light up my butt constantly but I need to know I'm doing a good job.
16. Let me win at video games sometimes and I'll let you win at Scrabble. I have pride too ya know.
17. Be creative and silly with me. Be spontaneous. Be fun.
18. Wipe the seat if you pee on it...we don't have a cleaning fairy...wait...yes we do...I'm her....and she thinks that job is disgusting already...don't make it worse.
19. If I make me you mad...tell me's okay to kick my ass me on my crap...if you say nothing then how can I make it right?
20. If you buy Ice Cream and it's Rolo....don't pick all the rolo pieces out of the ice cream...:) That's my job.
21. If you are one of those guys that blows your nose in the shower...please sing at the top of your lungs while you do it so that I can't hear it...Gaaaaag! I feel like I don't really even need to say this but if you do that while I'm in the shower with you...oh holy hell..hello injury clause above.
22. When you see that I'm breaking, please try not to go into shitting the bed, need to save me mode. Use good judgement on how to best handle me in the moment. Sometimes laying with me in silence and holding my hand is enough.
23. Did you know that physical interaction can instantly change your mood? Hold my hand for no reason sometimes, hug me like you hate letting me go...I need that connection like you need beer and bacon.
24. Tell me I'm beautiful...especially when you know that I feel like a tragic mess. I need to hear that from you more than anyone else.
25. Check out other girls if you want to...that's normal...but remember that I'm still at the table and might like to catch your eye as well.
26. When I make you food...don't ever say ewwww or tell me I'm a terrible cook....unless you have solid resistance to poison....and then by all means...say whatever you want to.
27. Don't say out loud that you dream about suffocating me sometimes and I won't announce that I thought about pushing you down the stairs last night :)
28. Make me believe that all things are possible...that the dreams we talk about can actually come true...even if you know it would take a miracle.
29. Don't ask me to kiss your feet or suck your toes...or we are over....
30. If you use the last of the toilet paper...don't just sit the roll on top of the holder...that pisses off the cleaning fairy.
31. Don't be gross and hard core boy all the time, just because I love you....there are things I don't need to hear...or see.
32. Let me pop zits on your back and man up about it!
33. Be patient. I'm going to drive you crazy...just do some deep breathing until the moment to shake me passes :)
34. Teach me boy stuff without the attitude that says dudes are so awesome and chicks can't do this shit.
35. Believe in me enough to tow the line when I struggle to believe in myself.
36. Dance with me in the kitchen while dinner is burning
37. Don't say that you will be all romantic and sweet in the beginning and then never do that...that's just shitty.
38. Make sure that you are doing all the things that let me know that I for sure have one person who has my back at the end of the day.
39. When I do nice things for you, act excited sometimes.
40. Act like a little kid sometimes. Be free spirited enough to not care what other people think.
41. Let me have the window seat sometimes when we fly somewhere.
42. No matter how mad you get at me....don't ever ever use my toothbrush to clean the toilet, I will give you the same respect, that just crosses a line.
43. Please be sentimental and love Christmas.
44. If you promise me a picnic, take me on a picnic...don't make plans with me that are never going to happen.
45. Remember that I am a constant reminder to myself that I'm not perfect...don't point out the things that I already know are my biggest weaknesses.
46. I'm a girl, I'm going to tantrum out, over dumb stuff, like you using the last of the just be smart and don't let that happen silly :)
47. Don't mock me when I say "For seriously?" "Is that a true story?" Smartitude or Supertastic, just find my made up language cute :)
48. Don't ever scare me with snakes or spiders or uncool.
49. Don't let a bad day at work ruin our entire night.
50. Be generous....not with money....but with your time and your words.
51. Don't be in a rush to just kill time with me. We only get this one life and I want to feel like I got to take it all in.
52. Be the man in my life that makes me without question say...."He is my best friend."
53. Sing to me, even if you are a bad singer...just don't wreck the song if we are both singing in the car, and don't make up your own words to an existing song...however if you wanna write me a song...I say yes please!
54. Be in it for the long haul, anyone can stay when life is someone who is going to walk through the valley with me, encouraging me that there is better ahead.
55. Remember that I chose you despite your faults...let's not play the who's more awesome game...I already have the game built and won in my mind. :p
56. Be not about my cooking, baking, cleaning or body...but be honest about everything else :)
57. I'm not going to take you for granted...don't take me for granted either.
58. Don't make me feel replaceable....make me feel like your life would never be the same without me in it.
59. When we fight...cuz we will....take your ass to the bathroom, garage, bedroom...where ever....but do not leave the property or you will get to read an entire chapter in the Book of Grievances...all about abandonment...
60. Let me sleep furthest away from the door so that the bad guy will kill you first.
61. We all have road rage at times but please don't put my life at risk just because someone cuts you off.
62. Bring me chocolate...except when I'm dieting because then I will assume you are trying to keep me fat.
63. What other people look at as cheesy as far as lovey dovey stuff goes....I look at as the sweetest be cheesy :)
64. Remember thst I'm giving you the most valuable thing I have, my heart...I'm putting every ounce of trust I have into the hope that you will take care of it, don't abuse that priviledge.

Okay so there it is. My Lil 'Matters to Me' list...unrealistic?? Pffffft! I think not, but that's why I stopped where I did...adding things like, play the guitar for me while you sing in tune...yep...seemed like I was reaching at that point :)

Happy Thursday all a y'all :)