See this face? He is the Joy in my life. Having him made me feel like my life's purpose had been fulfilled. Any and all hindrances I had with God were erased in that single moment when he was born. He has always been a pretty easy going kid and a mama's boy. He never asked for a ton growing up and always made me feel like I was doing a really good job at this whole mothering thing. He makes me laugh every single day. He has a natural sense of humor and the next comedic monologue always seems to be on the tip of his tongue. He lights up my life. He's good and kind and really wants to live his life in a way that makes other people's lives better...I'm really blessed that I'm his mom....when I'm feeling blue he can turn it all around just with his quick wit and upbeat energy.
Next came my Logi....the Peace in my life. I knew Logan was a boy all along....and I knew that he was going to be a gentle soul. My pregnancy was a walk in the park compared to Colby and that calmness seemed to carry on after he was born. He was just easy...never demanding...just content. He is very smart and very logical in his thoughts and actions which often gets him into trouble but at the end of the day he is the one who can sit with me and bring me to a calm place. Though he doesn't easily show his emotions he is much more of an emotional person than the other two. His feelings get easily hurt at raised voices and he doesn't do well at confrontation....him and I are just the same in those areas. He has a sense of humor that is truly only for really smart people because they are jokes that require thought to get the punchline. Logan is the one though at the end of the day, if my world has been too overwhelming, feels most like a massage for my soul.
Rounding out the group came my girl Mara....the faith in my life. This child would be an answered prayer for me on so many levels. Because she was a girl...she was the one who marked the milestones in my own life. Marking those moments in time came with a lot of pain along the way because my life became so clear to me when I was seeing it through her eyes. She is the one that I want to hold close to me and keep with me forever and protect and save from anything bad happening to her. But she is also the one that brought faith to me that things can come full circle. In so many ways watching her grow up and change has been like therapy for me....to work on my own weaknesses and heal pains that I have carried far too long...I guess I do live a little bit through her....she makes me smile in the knowing that I am doing right by her...she will not walk my same road....not to say that she won't be laying on a Shrinks couch one day griping about how I wrecked her life or scarred her....who knows...I'll pay that bill when it comes I guess.
Watching my kids and seeing them interact with each other and with us, I'm amazed....they really are great kids...sure they duke it out pretty good sometimes but at the end of the day they still love each other. For me, being their mom has encouraged me to see my own value and purpose. I know that I'm valuable all my own but they show me every day that I'm doing okay and who doesn't need a little bit of that kind of encouragement.
Thank God for the Joy that makes my heart smile....the Peace that brings serenity to my soul....and the Faith that renews my spirit with the hope that all things can eventually heal.
Hope you are all super blessed moving into December.
What a precious family honey. They are so blessed that you are their mommy! I love you and am so proud of you. Aunty Deb
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