A New Year's a Comin :)

Sooooooo for like the past two weeks I've been thinking....Frick can't wait to say goodbye to this year. But last night...as I was laying in bed beside my 14 year old roommate....I was thinking about everything that's happened this year....which to other people wouldn't really be much....but for this girl.....phew....it felt like a lot. There were some lows in there....not the scraping the bottom of the barrel kinda lows....but definitely little moments of trudging through the puddles. But last night I fell asleep thinking about all the best things of 2012....and sooooo I'm only going to focus on that...:) Seeeeee how nice it is when today is not a rant day?? :) The last year has been exhausting for me but so worth it. I'm so thankful for my job and the people that I work with. They have in a ton of ways become friends to me. It is seriously awesome when you can go to work and have fun, and also have therapy at the same time...:) That job became my freedom....knowing that I could do it all on my own, made me less scared about the future and being all on my own. This year has tested me as a mother. My momma didn't lie when she said I'm gonna get pay back for all of my teenage years. My payback started much earlier than I had prepped myself for....and comes in the form of a gorgeous, funny, smart, sassy, creative, dramatic 14 year old. But the payoff....yep....it's worth it. She has become something different to me than just my daughter. She is a genuinely good person, with the softest heart. I am still the mother, but in a ton of ways, I can see us transitioning to friendship. That gives me a lump in my throat....the years seemed to pass in a blink and in my mind sometimes....she's still just five, standing in the kitchen in a very...uhmmmm....creative ensemble of clothing, asking me what I think. I'm so proud of her. I'm thankful for all of them. For the one who texts me every second day to say "I love you mom" and asks me to come and live with him....lol. For the one with his quiet, calm reasoning..... who's logic sometimes over rides what I would classify as good judgement, but who knows at the end of the day....I love him and am so thankful for the calmness in my life that only he gives me. They are after all, my greatest purpose, and biggest reward. I am beyond grateful to the women in my life....momzy....who never ever ever makes me feel like I'm sucking at this whole single parenting thing. The one who always tells me that she's so proud of me, even on the suckiest days. My other mothers(you know who you are) whos little words may seem so small to you, but have carried me through the hardest days. My best girls....here....and there.... who make me laugh, take me out, make me feel like I'm super fantastic and who never waiver in standing beside me even when I like super piss them off! Suprisingly I'm also thankful for the men in my life....though honestly...some of y'all don't deserve that title...buuuuuut I'm not gonna focus on that....instead I'm going to say that this was a great year in datingland.....in this little non magical land....there are snaggletoothed beasts but there are also some...err...like one or two... that seem Prince-like. I am choosing to take the few best qualities from most and remind myself what I need in a healthy relationship. I have been incredibly blessed by one man that came into my life over a year ago. I may have ranted a couple of weeks ago and honestly a fight with him started that rant.... cuz him and I duked it out pretty good....but the best thing about him is that he calls me on my shit...and says sorry for his own. He has become an incredible friend to me. He's sane and adjusted and though slightly dysfunctional....always....always....the voice of reason for me. He kicks my ass, makes me laugh....like every single day...tells me I'm doing a really good job...and gives me a slight glimmer....that there are really good men out there. He thinks he isn't all that...always says....he's a normal guy....oh frick...if he only knew. :)) I'm looking forward to this next year. I can feel myself changing, growing, adjusting to this different life. I have the galoshes handy, because seriously....I'd be feeding you a bunch of crap if I said I'm done with puddles....there will be many I'm sure...but I also know that you can't have a rainbow without a lil rain :) Happy New Year to all the people in my life....may your lives be blessed in countless ways...may your perfect days make you thankful, and your toughest days make you stronger....and I hope that you all know how grateful I am to have you in my life, sharing the best days and the blue days and ever giving me the little nudges I need to keep moving forward. xoxo